TotD: His Will

It has been a long time since I've had a post on my "Thought of the Day", but I thought today was kind of appropriate timing.

I don't know all of the details and how they'll affect this case, but we've had a new development. The caseworker stopped by yesterday and let me know that chances are we will now not get the kids and that she'd update me later. It turns out one of the half-sisters with another family has been found to have Native American heritage and the reservation is now involved with the custody case and has rights to determine where she ends up. (When paternity tests were done on the children, her father marked that he was 'Mexican' and 'Other' instead of 'Native American', so the caseworker didn't know about it.) We don't know all the details, as the caseworker, the prosecutor, the department, and the reservation's representatives are all meeting today to discuss it. I can update more later.

That's not the point, the point being is that our chances of keeping the children are now significantly reduced, regardless of where they end up. I've been thinking about it and, of course, in my biased opinion I think the best place for C&C is in my home. But if there is ONE thing that I do know, is that the Lord is in the details of our lives, and what is always "best" for us is not always His will for us. I'm sure it would be best for the starving kids in Africa to be born here, but that wasn't His will. So I don't know the path that the Lord has planned for these kids . . . maybe my role in their lives was to love them and teach them for a year so that ten years from now when missionaries knock on their door they'll be prepared. Who knows? I won't presume to know, and at this point I've definitely got to prepare myself and more importantly Ellie for the inevitable.

So last night after dinner I while I was just holding, reading to, and cuddling Ellie I brought it up with her. I let her know that Stina & Bubba are probably going to go to another family. She looked up at me with big eyes and said, "you mean you didn't adopt them?" I had to let her know that I didn't and that they might leave soon. Apparently she thought that I meant they were leaving that day, and she was pretty sad. At bedtime she started crying and she asked me if Stina was still here. I told her they had lots more days with us before they had to leave and she says, "Oh. Mom? I think I'm gonna cry my eyes out."

Truer words have never been spoken. We may need to get this kid in therapy!! :-(