Monday, October 14, 2013

I Am George Costanza

I'm not proud to admit it.

Thirteen years ago Darik and I went on one of our first dates to the Haunted Forest.  Apparently our non-verbal communication (read: flirting) was right on cue, because we were pretty exclusive soon after.  Darik and I have been making more valiant attempts at dating and actually going "out" on dates.  This was an attempt to re-create a memorable moment from the past.

And boy was it memorable.  We took a hayride out to the start of the "Haunted Forest".  This time we didn't have a huge group of roommates and dates to go with, so they sent us through alone together.  Which, would you rather be the first one scared by being in the front or the one being chased in the back?  Neither right?  So my psyche grabs Darik's arm, and let's him take the first blow before running ahead of him and making him take the back.  It didn't help that at the start Darik laughs at the guys.  I feel like they ramp up the volume if they hear laughing.  And he was walking by slowly.  I started to sprint by in an attempt to get them to lay off.

So here I am jerking Darik around as I try to sprint full throttle to lessen the skeery-ness.  Apparently I'm Usain Bolt when someone is chasing me with a chainsaw.  Because pretty soon it turned into a full out half mile sprint - before we even left the scary guy behind us there was a new one in our grill.  We figure out when we caught up to the group ahead of us that they skeery-guys probably didn't have time to get back and hide in time for us to come sprinting by.  Literally 10 guys all standing in the pathway not even attempting to hide, just one after another.  We finally reached the end and had to walk along a river for abt 400 meters before entering a hay bale pathway back to the parking lot.  Darik was on the lookout for more creepsters, but I figured they couldn't handle the liability of scaring people next to the river.

You see where this is going.

So we follow 4 girls into the straw maze (skinny tunnel) at the end when a creepster jumps out.  I'm not sure if the guy behind me is Darik or the other guy.  So what do I do?  Pull a George Costanza. 

Yep, I totally grabbed a hold of the high school girl in front of me and trampled her out of my way.  At one point I do believe I had her pushed up against the haybale face first in my attempt to escape.

After it was over I was devastated.  Do you know what this means?  I would be the one to push children and grandmas out of my way to escape.  Especially if we're escaping chainsaw men.  I'm not sure I'm totally comfortable with this revelation about my character.

The silver lining being that we figure if I want to enter and win any kind of races (5k+) we just need to have someone chase me with a chainsaw.  Because this girl can kick with her life on the line.


  1. HAHA!! great memory! I don't know what character I would be, but I'm pretty sure Elaine and I have similar dance moves.

    STOKED for your new blog!

  2. :) I have the same concerns for my behavior in frightening situations, which is why I avoid them as much as possible (no fright houses for me!).

  3. You crack me up!