Ellie wants to play this game with us all the time (she doesn't say LIFE though, she spells it out L-I-F-E), mostly with daddy though - because when I try to tell her how to play she just says, "I don't have to do what you say." And the games ends soon after. There's a reason why I'm staying up at this ungodly hour to blog and tell you about our game board habits is that events in my life have been of such substance lately I felt like I couldn't not post. And it has to do with life.
In December my 32-year-old sister was diagnosed with colon cancer. It was stage three and had gone misdiagnosed for 2 years. After a series of chemotherapy she came back from the Huntsman Cancer Center this week with a surgery date on March 4. The prognosis on her cancer isn't the best - the estimate they gave is survival chances of over 60%. She has three gorgeous daughters ages 7-12 that may be left behind.
And then this week I was on the way to work when my mom broke down and told me one of her best friends - a close family friend, had 6 months to live. She'd been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor over both hemispheres of the brain. They have been good friends to all of our family, even coming to our super bowl parties. When I first met her is when we moved back to Pocatello to my parents' basement apartment and we walk in and she was on the floor scrubbing our carpets helping my mom clean it so we could move in and have it be really nice. She is such a sweetheart and I can't help but cry as I write this. She is my parents age and . . . just to think about all of her adorable grandchildren grow up without their awesome grandma -- or her awesome husband . . .
Well, I guess today it really hit home when my mom called and let me know my cousin had gone snowmobiling with his dad today in Island Park and there was an avalanche. My cousin made it out but my uncle didn't. I had just seen him at our Saurey Christmas party - once again he is my parents age and all his kids are just starting to have lots of babies - babies that will never know their grandpa. It's not that we were terribly close to the Leishmans, but I just broke down. My heart hurt for their sadness. For their loss. For their grief. For my cousins and my aunt.
So my point to all this sadness? I think Heavenly Father wants me to look at my life. At my decisions. About how I spend my time. What regrets would I have if I had 6 months to live - or if my husband walked out the door and never came home? All the extra stuff is extra.
I had been feeling guilty lately because since I started working I chose to cuddle in the morning with Ellie instead of exercise . . . I think after this week I won't be feeling guilty about that anymore. Goodbye skinny jeans, I'll take cuddles over you any day of the week.