- Books. Last year I had a goal on Goodreads of reading 100 books in 2013. While I'm glad I accomplished it, there are probably a few things that fell by the wayside along the way. As such I've reduced my reading goal by 30%, to 70 for 2014. And mostly to make way for: catching up on blog books. Unfortunately I won't be going back and blogging the missing info of the last 3 years. But I have a goal to finish all 3 missing blog books by the end of the year (2011-2013).
- Blog. In an attempt to not get behind on my blog booking again, I will have at LEAST a monthly summary blog. I don't want to pressure myself too much what with working and all, so I'm creating a baseline from here on out.
- Body. I have gotten out of the habit of green smoothies and quinoa salads. They are back by popular demand. And while I'm against having any goal whatsoever related to the weight and shape of my body - I do feel the need to be stronger. Especially as I'm hoping to start hiking this year.
- Brain. Continue learning and growing and stretching and sharing. Engage my brain everyday and find a way to exchange and discuss ideas without judgment or negativity. Especially gospel-related study and scriptures. p.s. Read more non-fiction!
- Beauty. I will follow Glennon Melton's example to find beauty all around me. "Beautiful means “full of beauty.” Beautiful is not about the appearance of your outsides- beautiful is about what you’re made of. Beautiful women are women who spend time discovering what they love – what sings to them –what their idea of beauty on this Earth is. Then they make time each day to fill themselves up with that beauty. They know themselves well enough to know what they love, and they love themselves enough to fill up with a little of their particular kind of beauty each day." Part of my finding beauty every day is to get my Nikon out of the closet and sacrifice the convenience of my iphone for a little more work and beauty.
Thursday, January 02, 2014
2014: Goals
Apart from my new theme, I have a few goals that will help me accomplish it.
2014: Love Big
During the last two years I felt like Heavenly Father sent us to Virginia (a move that rationally didn't make sense) to have those experiences and meet the people we met there. One of my dear friends shared a blog post with me when I had been discussing marriage with her. She asked me if I had heard of Mara Kofoed's A Blog About Love. She had a blog post about the Virtue of Loving. I tucked the memory of the post away for later, I was interested but didn't feel like that post fit in my life at that moment. Well, lately I've felt I'm ready. That's what I want my focus to be this year. So I went back and visited that blog post about Love.
Coincidentally I found that post was STEP 3 in her series of HOW TO BE VULNERABLE. Step 1 she blogged as Believe You Have Worth and Own It:
1 - You are worth something.
2 - You are capable of great things.
3 - You have a connection to the divine.
4 - You can continually learn & grow because of your trials.
5 - You get to choose how you experience your life.
6 - You are capable of developing love, which is the most important thing in this life.
Step 2 was Let Go of Fear:
EVEN IF unfortunate things happened to me...
EVEN IF my husband left me
EVEN IF I never had kids
EVEN IF I did something embarrassing
EVEN IF my voice shook or the perfect words did not come out of my mouth
EVEN IF someone disapproved of me
EVEN IF I made a fool of myself
EVEN IF my worst nightmares came true
Mara shares, "How do you practice being vulnerable in your new fearless skin??"
-Be comfortable & happy with who you are.
-Share a joke and not care if anybody laughs.
-Open your mouth & share something when you have something to say.
-Reach out to people you don't know.
-Dance crazy in the kitchen.
-Walk down the beach and feel beautiful.
-Tell someone you love them.
-Do something bold and scary.
-Speak your "truth" or your story in public.
-Raise your hand in a class & share an experience or your perspective.
-Act fun & sexy (or just goofy) around your lover.
Fear does not stop death, it stops life.
Do you see what happened here? Without meaning to - these steps match the last few years of my life I blogged about in the last post. Heavenly Father gave me a ringer of a few years and I emerged different. As I've recognized the worth in my differences and in myself, I enable myself to recognize them in others. I enable myself to love others where they are at. As I let go of fear of what others may say or think I've me I've decided to claim who I am and own it. This is who I am. Without apology.
As Mara says (seriously go check out her blog):
You see, if YOU have worth that is inherent and intrinsic to who you are (see Step 1), you know that so does everyone else. Even if they make mistakes, they still have worth. Seeing them in that light frees you to to love them as a human being, regardless of whether or not they are capable of returning love to you, regardless of whether or not your love is received. You are free to seek to build someone else's worth regardless if they receive it or are grateful for it. Again, if you already own your own worth, you aren't looking for anything from them. You are simply hoping for someone else to know their own worth, too. Period. This is the essence of love. It is knowing that someone is worth your patience. Your kindness. Your forgiveness. Your compassion. Not because they are doing anything to deserve it. But because they inherently have worth, just like you do. And so your goal is to bring it out in them. And if you don't succeed, then you will be ok. You don't "need" to succeed, but you offer what you can out of love, and then you let each person carry out their own life and their own path.My sister-in-law recently shared with me an insight from the church book she is reading, Without Offense: the Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism, by Gerald Lund. She mentioned that in the book it specifically states the only person who has stewardship to judge you and your heart and motivations is your Bishop and your God. Everyone else's only commandment is to love each other. It's not my place to come out on every issue and say who is right and who is wrong.
Seeking after the virtue of LOVE helps you to become your truest, most worthwhile self. It's the heart of who we all are. And tapping into the power that we already have within us to live this way is the most tremendous thing a human being could ever do.
Literally the only commandment I have to follow is to love my God, and to love others. And I'm ready to love, every single type of love. Coworker love. Sister love. Daughter love. Friend love. Family love. Mother love. Wife love. Daughter of God love. Fellow-saint love. Stranger love. Enemy love. Facebook friend love. Acquaintance love. Say yes to love.
The New (old) Years, In Retrospect
Here we are, everybody. A clean slate: 2014! I have decided that I want to do the "trendy-one-word-theme-per-year" resolutions, along with a few goals. In attempting to ferret out my 2014 theme, I've discovered the themes I've had the last two years, in retrospect. And I feel to preface this year I need to give background and summarize the past two years for me.
I know a lot of people are confused because about two years ago I left Idaho one person, and I then returned a very different person. So let's start with what was happening back then.
2011 - Change & Moving On
Right before we left for Virginia in 2011, Darik and I had talked about how we had spent 10 years of our marriage trying to have children. The basal body temps, the chlomid, the charts, the shots, the accupressurist (muscle testing), the alternative homeopathic pills, the endocrinologist, the tests, the IVF, the more shots, the foster care, the failed adoption, the IUIs, the essential oils, the cleanses, the prayers, the fasts, the accupuncture, the hopes and dreams. In my church we are taught the ideal: we are sent here to have and raise families. And after ten years of learning and growing and stretching and doing everything in our power to accomlish the ideal: I was tired. I had to believe the life Heavenly Father sent me here was not to spend my emotional and psychological well-being in attempts of accomlishing the ideal. I did NOT want to give up hope. But in the end I realized for my own well being, I needed a break. For the first time in a long time I felt a centering peace. Within this span of time Darik graduated with his master's degree, we listed our home for sale, and started looking for a new job. In a very surprising turn of events we ended up in Virginia with a job that made less money, a home rented out back in Idaho losing $400 per month, and me working full-time while Ellie started 1st grade.
2012 - Discover and Own Your Worth
Over the next year I come to a lot of conclusions. I may not ever have any more kids - naturally, foster, or adoptive. And that's okay. For the first time in my life I felt a centering peace that came from accepting God's will in my life. Up until then I felt I'd been so converted to the preaching of the ideal and to gender roles, I wasn't open to the possibility that God had a different plan for me. I knew God had sent me here with my own specific talents and skills, but I'd been trying to apply them only in creating an ideal family: the reason we are sent to earth in the plan of salvation. And now I am owning the possibility that while, yes, mother is one of my roles here on earth, God's plan for me to build his kingdom is more than that. I do not fit a role, I do not fit a stereotype - my job is to discover His plan for me, and to let go of every expectation and belief of what I thought that was supposed to be.
Here I was not matching everyone else around me: the majority of women in my ward were stay-at-home mothers raising young children. They had walking groups and playdates, and I was working full-time. My life at work was interesting. At the beginning I struggled, more than I had anticipated. I felt between a rock and a hard place as I needed help and it was very difficult to obtain. They transferred me to a new position and I wasn't full of much confidence. At work over this year I began some difficult projects and found success. I was sent on week-long trainings in other cities where I spent every moment developing my brain and talents to help others, apart from my family and church. I used my specific talents (love of obscure data and working alone) to pull together a pretty valuable piece of work. I found a way to take my strengths and amplify them. I found a way to love my job, love learning, and love my coworkers. I found that in the workplace I am treated and viewed first as an individual: what talents and abilities and perspective do I bring to the table? I saw first-hand how genders related in an organization outside of the church. Yes, there were still some things that were appropriate and inappropriate between genders at work, there is always a line. But there was so much more interaction available to me with male work friends: who I came to enjoy sharing baby pictures, friendship, lunchtime, and political debates. It's really different than how we interact between genders at church, the comparison was jarring to me. After all of these experiences I saw the world with perhaps a little different filter, just as all of our own life experiences create the filter with which we view the world
As 2012 ended and Darik got a job in Rexburg and we prepared to leave, my boss told me how much she had enjoyed watching me grow in ability and confidence. And I truly believe that happened to me in 2012. I learned a lot not just at work, but about myself, and about my path -- and I decided to quit wanting something else. To love my path. To love myself. And I was excited: I would be getting a small piece of the ideal back, right? I would finally get to be a stay-at-home mom!
2013 - Let Go of Fear
The first half of last year I spent on more discovery. Although I'd let go of the ideal of my purpose was to raise a large family, I still assumed happiness was found in the ideal of staying at home. I have to say, I was a hot mess. Don't get me wrong, there were many moments I cherished and loved. I had many sweet and memorable moments with Ellie and the additional time we had together. I had a husband who was being challenged and stretched at work and who was enjoying it more than he ever had. But I still felt something was missing! I love reading, and I read a lot of books :-) but something was still missing. I had all of these ideas and thoughts and experiences that made me who I am. I decided to let go of my fear and just own it. I started blogging, researching, questioning, and working. I read my patriarchal blessing again. I went back to the feelings I had before of me being different and of worth. I had always been different than the girls and women around me - whether I was a sports-addicted child or an offbeat trend-hating adult. I certainly didn't fit the expectations and stereotypes that surrounded me. I just decided to let go of every ounce of fear I had -- I chose to tell my story. I felt I was finally strong enough to be vulnerable, to show my weaknesses and questions, and to take whatever came my way.
I know a lot of people are confused because about two years ago I left Idaho one person, and I then returned a very different person. So let's start with what was happening back then.
2011 - Change & Moving On
Right before we left for Virginia in 2011, Darik and I had talked about how we had spent 10 years of our marriage trying to have children. The basal body temps, the chlomid, the charts, the shots, the accupressurist (muscle testing), the alternative homeopathic pills, the endocrinologist, the tests, the IVF, the more shots, the foster care, the failed adoption, the IUIs, the essential oils, the cleanses, the prayers, the fasts, the accupuncture, the hopes and dreams. In my church we are taught the ideal: we are sent here to have and raise families. And after ten years of learning and growing and stretching and doing everything in our power to accomlish the ideal: I was tired. I had to believe the life Heavenly Father sent me here was not to spend my emotional and psychological well-being in attempts of accomlishing the ideal. I did NOT want to give up hope. But in the end I realized for my own well being, I needed a break. For the first time in a long time I felt a centering peace. Within this span of time Darik graduated with his master's degree, we listed our home for sale, and started looking for a new job. In a very surprising turn of events we ended up in Virginia with a job that made less money, a home rented out back in Idaho losing $400 per month, and me working full-time while Ellie started 1st grade.
2012 - Discover and Own Your Worth
Over the next year I come to a lot of conclusions. I may not ever have any more kids - naturally, foster, or adoptive. And that's okay. For the first time in my life I felt a centering peace that came from accepting God's will in my life. Up until then I felt I'd been so converted to the preaching of the ideal and to gender roles, I wasn't open to the possibility that God had a different plan for me. I knew God had sent me here with my own specific talents and skills, but I'd been trying to apply them only in creating an ideal family: the reason we are sent to earth in the plan of salvation. And now I am owning the possibility that while, yes, mother is one of my roles here on earth, God's plan for me to build his kingdom is more than that. I do not fit a role, I do not fit a stereotype - my job is to discover His plan for me, and to let go of every expectation and belief of what I thought that was supposed to be.
Here I was not matching everyone else around me: the majority of women in my ward were stay-at-home mothers raising young children. They had walking groups and playdates, and I was working full-time. My life at work was interesting. At the beginning I struggled, more than I had anticipated. I felt between a rock and a hard place as I needed help and it was very difficult to obtain. They transferred me to a new position and I wasn't full of much confidence. At work over this year I began some difficult projects and found success. I was sent on week-long trainings in other cities where I spent every moment developing my brain and talents to help others, apart from my family and church. I used my specific talents (love of obscure data and working alone) to pull together a pretty valuable piece of work. I found a way to take my strengths and amplify them. I found a way to love my job, love learning, and love my coworkers. I found that in the workplace I am treated and viewed first as an individual: what talents and abilities and perspective do I bring to the table? I saw first-hand how genders related in an organization outside of the church. Yes, there were still some things that were appropriate and inappropriate between genders at work, there is always a line. But there was so much more interaction available to me with male work friends: who I came to enjoy sharing baby pictures, friendship, lunchtime, and political debates. It's really different than how we interact between genders at church, the comparison was jarring to me. After all of these experiences I saw the world with perhaps a little different filter, just as all of our own life experiences create the filter with which we view the world
As 2012 ended and Darik got a job in Rexburg and we prepared to leave, my boss told me how much she had enjoyed watching me grow in ability and confidence. And I truly believe that happened to me in 2012. I learned a lot not just at work, but about myself, and about my path -- and I decided to quit wanting something else. To love my path. To love myself. And I was excited: I would be getting a small piece of the ideal back, right? I would finally get to be a stay-at-home mom!
2013 - Let Go of Fear
The first half of last year I spent on more discovery. Although I'd let go of the ideal of my purpose was to raise a large family, I still assumed happiness was found in the ideal of staying at home. I have to say, I was a hot mess. Don't get me wrong, there were many moments I cherished and loved. I had many sweet and memorable moments with Ellie and the additional time we had together. I had a husband who was being challenged and stretched at work and who was enjoying it more than he ever had. But I still felt something was missing! I love reading, and I read a lot of books :-) but something was still missing. I had all of these ideas and thoughts and experiences that made me who I am. I decided to let go of my fear and just own it. I started blogging, researching, questioning, and working. I read my patriarchal blessing again. I went back to the feelings I had before of me being different and of worth. I had always been different than the girls and women around me - whether I was a sports-addicted child or an offbeat trend-hating adult. I certainly didn't fit the expectations and stereotypes that surrounded me. I just decided to let go of every ounce of fear I had -- I chose to tell my story. I felt I was finally strong enough to be vulnerable, to show my weaknesses and questions, and to take whatever came my way.
Wednesday, January 01, 2014
Monday, October 14, 2013
The Beauty of the Ocean
So I wanted to let you guys know I started a new blog. My last post about my feminism and the priesthood received over 500 page views. So I figured it might be beneficial to have a separate Gospel related blog about the Confessions of a Moderate Mormon Feminist.
There is a new post up over there, and it ALSO includes a Seinfeld reference, for those of you keeping track!
Love,
Kristine
I Am George Costanza
I'm not proud to admit it.
Thirteen years ago Darik and I went on one of our first dates to the Haunted Forest. Apparently our non-verbal communication (read: flirting) was right on cue, because we were pretty exclusive soon after. Darik and I have been making more valiant attempts at dating and actually going "out" on dates. This was an attempt to re-create a memorable moment from the past.
And boy was it memorable. We took a hayride out to the start of the "Haunted Forest". This time we didn't have a huge group of roommates and dates to go with, so they sent us through alone together. Which, would you rather be the first one scared by being in the front or the one being chased in the back? Neither right? So my psyche grabs Darik's arm, and let's him take the first blow before running ahead of him and making him take the back. It didn't help that at the start Darik laughs at the guys. I feel like they ramp up the volume if they hear laughing. And he was walking by slowly. I started to sprint by in an attempt to get them to lay off.
So here I am jerking Darik around as I try to sprint full throttle to lessen the skeery-ness. Apparently I'm Usain Bolt when someone is chasing me with a chainsaw. Because pretty soon it turned into a full out half mile sprint - before we even left the scary guy behind us there was a new one in our grill. We figure out when we caught up to the group ahead of us that they skeery-guys probably didn't have time to get back and hide in time for us to come sprinting by. Literally 10 guys all standing in the pathway not even attempting to hide, just one after another. We finally reached the end and had to walk along a river for abt 400 meters before entering a hay bale pathway back to the parking lot. Darik was on the lookout for more creepsters, but I figured they couldn't handle the liability of scaring people next to the river.
You see where this is going.
So we follow 4 girls into the straw maze (skinny tunnel) at the end when a creepster jumps out. I'm not sure if the guy behind me is Darik or the other guy. So what do I do? Pull a George Costanza.
Yep, I totally grabbed a hold of the high school girl in front of me and trampled her out of my way. At one point I do believe I had her pushed up against the haybale face first in my attempt to escape.
After it was over I was devastated. Do you know what this means? I would be the one to push children and grandmas out of my way to escape. Especially if we're escaping chainsaw men. I'm not sure I'm totally comfortable with this revelation about my character.
The silver lining being that we figure if I want to enter and win any kind of races (5k+) we just need to have someone chase me with a chainsaw. Because this girl can kick with her life on the line.
Thirteen years ago Darik and I went on one of our first dates to the Haunted Forest. Apparently our non-verbal communication (read: flirting) was right on cue, because we were pretty exclusive soon after. Darik and I have been making more valiant attempts at dating and actually going "out" on dates. This was an attempt to re-create a memorable moment from the past.
And boy was it memorable. We took a hayride out to the start of the "Haunted Forest". This time we didn't have a huge group of roommates and dates to go with, so they sent us through alone together. Which, would you rather be the first one scared by being in the front or the one being chased in the back? Neither right? So my psyche grabs Darik's arm, and let's him take the first blow before running ahead of him and making him take the back. It didn't help that at the start Darik laughs at the guys. I feel like they ramp up the volume if they hear laughing. And he was walking by slowly. I started to sprint by in an attempt to get them to lay off.
So here I am jerking Darik around as I try to sprint full throttle to lessen the skeery-ness. Apparently I'm Usain Bolt when someone is chasing me with a chainsaw. Because pretty soon it turned into a full out half mile sprint - before we even left the scary guy behind us there was a new one in our grill. We figure out when we caught up to the group ahead of us that they skeery-guys probably didn't have time to get back and hide in time for us to come sprinting by. Literally 10 guys all standing in the pathway not even attempting to hide, just one after another. We finally reached the end and had to walk along a river for abt 400 meters before entering a hay bale pathway back to the parking lot. Darik was on the lookout for more creepsters, but I figured they couldn't handle the liability of scaring people next to the river.
You see where this is going.
So we follow 4 girls into the straw maze (skinny tunnel) at the end when a creepster jumps out. I'm not sure if the guy behind me is Darik or the other guy. So what do I do? Pull a George Costanza.
Yep, I totally grabbed a hold of the high school girl in front of me and trampled her out of my way. At one point I do believe I had her pushed up against the haybale face first in my attempt to escape.
After it was over I was devastated. Do you know what this means? I would be the one to push children and grandmas out of my way to escape. Especially if we're escaping chainsaw men. I'm not sure I'm totally comfortable with this revelation about my character.
The silver lining being that we figure if I want to enter and win any kind of races (5k+) we just need to have someone chase me with a chainsaw. Because this girl can kick with her life on the line.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
A Mormon Feminist of a Different Stripe Against Priesthood Protests
Yes, for the first time in public, I have claimed the title of feminist. A Mormon feminist.
In Mormonism, feminism is an "f-word". And I twisted and spun and bent myself in an attempt to not label myself as such. I've called myself a feminist-ally or -empathizer. Most recently I've come to most closely define myself as 'one who advocates for change and improvement of gender inequalities within my Mormon culture and Church - WITHOUT changing the principles and doctrines of the gospel'.
I looked myself in the mirror and said, "Self, sounds pretty much like the definition of feminist to me." And so I am. To think that all feminists are the same is rather simplistic. Like calling all fish only "fish" whether it be salmon, trout, angelfish, cod, sturgeon, goldfish, or shark. We have liberal, social, radical, militant (the feminazis), marxist/socialist, cultural, eco, and a peculiar mormon type of feminism. And amongst mormon feminists there are a thousand different types of us, too - just like there are marble, cut throat, rainbow, brook, and bull types of trout!
Because of this over-generalizing and stereotyping of the word and all it's negative connotations: It's terrifying to claim Mormon feminism. I grew up hearing about the 'evils of feminism' and the destruction it reigns on the family. I saw women excommunicated for feminism. Mormon feminism is a dangerous place to be - we open ourselves for judgment and ridicule, as evidenced by a recent Sabbath lesson I ended up walking out of when the teacher claimed, 'those who wear pants to church don't understand the Plan of Salvation'. I mean, really, just because my friends wore pants means they don't believe in this?
When I was present at April General Conference to see a woman pray there for the very first time...tears of happiness were wept that there is one less thing that my daughter will NEVER see she can't do, by the mere fact of her being a female. I was enveloped by a sweet feeling of love from my Father in Heaven. And as I left that historic meeting I had a conversation with a friendly elderly usher who made sure to share his opinion that anyone who was happy to see a woman pray is a step away from apostasy. {sigh}
But I know God lives and loves me. I know Jesus Christ is the son of Heavenly Father and Mother and that He is my Savior. I know my Savior walked the earth. He established his church here with apostles and bishops. He did not come to minister to the well but to the sick and lowly and in need. In His actions and teachings I see quite possibly the Gospel's first feminist, as I can only imagine his actions regarding females (including the adulteress) were groundbreaking in his cultural and historical context. I believe the priesthood authority was lost and the earth was in apostasy after the apostles' deaths. I know God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to a young boy in 1820 to restore His Church to the earth. He restored the priesthood authority that was lost and organized a new dispensation of the Gospel with prophets and apostles, evangelists and bishops, priests and deacons. I honor the office of High Priest that my husband holds. I know Thomas S. Monson is God's prophet on the earth today. I know we have continued modern revelation. And I know it's through my Savior's grace that I am saved, after all that I can do. I know God has provided Plan of Salvation that allows me to return to live with him again and an opportunity for families to be Together Forever. I mean, does it sound like I'm close to apostasy? (I know my parents think so :-)
So what happened in my life to turn me to Mormon Feminism? Well, God did. I'm serious. Fifteen years ago I was about as culturally and religiously conservative as can be - the only hope in my life growing up was to be a Mother in Zion: barefoot and pregnant. I was taught this was my role, Heavenly Father's plan for me. This was God's plan for all women. As I chased this elusive dream, I faced years of God's plan of infertility for me instead, and I came to a realization: my identity and worth and role in this life wasn't limited by my ability to bear children, by my femaleness. God sent me here for MORE. I wasn't sent here to endure to the end of this trial so I could be granted motherhood in the eternities. I was sent (as we all are) as a Child of God with a unique spirit full of strengths and talents that God wanted me to use to build the Kingdom of God. Sometimes that includes being a mother and sometimes it does not. Heavenly Father gives us all personal revelation to help guide our path back to him.
Because I couldn't have children, I have earned a bachelor's degree in accounting; have had the opportunity to work full-time for an apostle, celebrity, and community housing agency; and have been exposed to so many types of people, ideas, and value systems to make my head spin. Heavenly Father's plan for my life has led me to have been close friends with millionaires, democrats, homosexuals, alcoholics, and tree-huggers. His plan has included 4 time zones, IVF, foster care, and acceptance of mother of a only child. Meanwhile I have served as Relief Society President, Primary President, Gospel Doctrine teacher, and a variety of other teaching and leadership positions. I've worked amongst the priesthood leaders and administration of the Church. I've witnessed miracles happen and prayers answered - and I've been the recipient of gender discrimination several times. All of these life experiences have changed who I am, how I think, and what is important to me. It has changed the filter with which I view the world and eternities. I have told Darik, "It's not my fault I'm a different girl than you married. Blame Heavenly Father, he did this to me and made me who I am today!"
So I'm different. And this different brain with different life experiences has led me to study prophets' words and church history that has given me different answers than what I learned growing up. The organization of the Church taught me a lot of things over my whole life. Most things were accurate and doctrine, and some things were opinion, cultural traditions, and good intentions gone horribly awry. Through my study my faith has been strengthened. I've learned that faith must be about the content of divine revelation, not the means or humans by which it is revealed. I do not believe in prophetic infallibility, that prophets can't make mistakes. We are taught prophets will never lead the church astray from salvation (has never happened yet) - and that's quite different than never making a mistake or mixing up their own opinions in teachings sometimes. Joseph Smith himself insisted he was subject to human error and should not be held to a higher standard than he holds himself. There are a lot of questionable things in our Church history, unexplained things. Because my testimony is rooted in the content of divine revelation, and not it's method it doesn't matter even if some of them are true!
Do I believe Joseph Smith had a vision for the women's Relief Society that has become unrealized? Most likely.. Do I believe the prophets and apostles have taught that God the Father has an equal in God the Mother who is His co-creator? Yes! ("A Mother There": A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven; David L. Paulsen & Martin Pulido. BYU Studies Journal 50:1)
Do I believe there are changes that can and should be made in our church's programs to equalize the funding and structure of programs between males and females? Yes! As Primary President I realized over $100 in ward budget was spent per cub scout per year (registration during rechartering for boys and leaders, badges and awards, fees for boys and leaders, and supplies for activities [which is meager compared to the $$ flowing straight to BSA]) while my ward budgeted less than $5 per girl of the same age per year. If I wanted to have Ellie have a similarly enriching experience as the boys through Girl Scouts, it would cost $300+ in registration and fees and countless hours of volunteer parental service, (which is provided by our church structure for the boys).
Do I believe we need to change the conversation of shame and fear that surrounds our teaching of modesty and sexuality and causes more problems than it solves? Yes!
Do I believe there are some positions in the church that don't require the priesthood that can be done by women and have been done by women in the past (Sunday School Presidency, anyone?)? Yes!
Do I believe there should be more female representation in decision making boards and councils of the Church that are over mixed-gender organizations (Welfare, Church Board of Education, etc.)? Yes! The Church has already started making this change with the new organization of "Mission Leadership Councils" that have sisters equally represented.
Do I believe women should be ordained to the priesthood? Eh.... Now? No. In the future? Perhaps. After studying all the divine powers Heavenly Mother has and uses, all the words I hear in the temple and women I see administer, I believe it's a possibility that women are ordained and use the priesthood in the hereafter. Knowing what I know of my fellow saints and Church leaders - if this is to be a change of new revelation (Article of Faith 9, "we believe that he will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the kingdom of God.") do I believe that now is when it will happen? No.
Do I believe women who advocate for the priesthood now should be protesting and trying to gain admittance to Priesthood General Meeting? No. Why? One word: Contention. It produces a spirit of contention that I have seen generate death threats and scorn and everything that is opposite of love. IF this change is to happen - I personally believe it will not happen now.
Dear fellow Mormon Feminists,
I believe your protest hurts my chances of advocating and realizing change in all my other areas I'm concerned about. It pains me when I feel your actions hurt what should be the goals of us all. Don't things come line upon line and precept upon precept? If the answer to women's ordination is no (for now or even in the future), can we all just take a step back? Can we work on an outpouring of love for each other that breaks down barriers instead of builds them up? That makes the Body of Christ one?
Has God revealed everything there is to be revealed? About the Kingdom of God? About the Plan of Salvation? As I spend some time over at the Mormons and Gays website I get the feeling that, no, there is so much to this life that is a mystery. Even in the Plan of Salvation. And come October 5 I'll kiss my husband on the cheek, send him to Priesthood meeting with a heart full of love, and snuggle down for a girl's night. Not because I don't believe in your cause (it's a possibility), but because I don't believe in your timing.
Love,
A Mormon Feminist of a Different Stripe
In Mormonism, feminism is an "f-word". And I twisted and spun and bent myself in an attempt to not label myself as such. I've called myself a feminist-ally or -empathizer. Most recently I've come to most closely define myself as 'one who advocates for change and improvement of gender inequalities within my Mormon culture and Church - WITHOUT changing the principles and doctrines of the gospel'.
I looked myself in the mirror and said, "Self, sounds pretty much like the definition of feminist to me." And so I am. To think that all feminists are the same is rather simplistic. Like calling all fish only "fish" whether it be salmon, trout, angelfish, cod, sturgeon, goldfish, or shark. We have liberal, social, radical, militant (the feminazis), marxist/socialist, cultural, eco, and a peculiar mormon type of feminism. And amongst mormon feminists there are a thousand different types of us, too - just like there are marble, cut throat, rainbow, brook, and bull types of trout!
Because of this over-generalizing and stereotyping of the word and all it's negative connotations: It's terrifying to claim Mormon feminism. I grew up hearing about the 'evils of feminism' and the destruction it reigns on the family. I saw women excommunicated for feminism. Mormon feminism is a dangerous place to be - we open ourselves for judgment and ridicule, as evidenced by a recent Sabbath lesson I ended up walking out of when the teacher claimed, 'those who wear pants to church don't understand the Plan of Salvation'. I mean, really, just because my friends wore pants means they don't believe in this?
When I was present at April General Conference to see a woman pray there for the very first time...tears of happiness were wept that there is one less thing that my daughter will NEVER see she can't do, by the mere fact of her being a female. I was enveloped by a sweet feeling of love from my Father in Heaven. And as I left that historic meeting I had a conversation with a friendly elderly usher who made sure to share his opinion that anyone who was happy to see a woman pray is a step away from apostasy. {sigh}
But I know God lives and loves me. I know Jesus Christ is the son of Heavenly Father and Mother and that He is my Savior. I know my Savior walked the earth. He established his church here with apostles and bishops. He did not come to minister to the well but to the sick and lowly and in need. In His actions and teachings I see quite possibly the Gospel's first feminist, as I can only imagine his actions regarding females (including the adulteress) were groundbreaking in his cultural and historical context. I believe the priesthood authority was lost and the earth was in apostasy after the apostles' deaths. I know God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to a young boy in 1820 to restore His Church to the earth. He restored the priesthood authority that was lost and organized a new dispensation of the Gospel with prophets and apostles, evangelists and bishops, priests and deacons. I honor the office of High Priest that my husband holds. I know Thomas S. Monson is God's prophet on the earth today. I know we have continued modern revelation. And I know it's through my Savior's grace that I am saved, after all that I can do. I know God has provided Plan of Salvation that allows me to return to live with him again and an opportunity for families to be Together Forever. I mean, does it sound like I'm close to apostasy? (I know my parents think so :-)
So what happened in my life to turn me to Mormon Feminism? Well, God did. I'm serious. Fifteen years ago I was about as culturally and religiously conservative as can be - the only hope in my life growing up was to be a Mother in Zion: barefoot and pregnant. I was taught this was my role, Heavenly Father's plan for me. This was God's plan for all women. As I chased this elusive dream, I faced years of God's plan of infertility for me instead, and I came to a realization: my identity and worth and role in this life wasn't limited by my ability to bear children, by my femaleness. God sent me here for MORE. I wasn't sent here to endure to the end of this trial so I could be granted motherhood in the eternities. I was sent (as we all are) as a Child of God with a unique spirit full of strengths and talents that God wanted me to use to build the Kingdom of God. Sometimes that includes being a mother and sometimes it does not. Heavenly Father gives us all personal revelation to help guide our path back to him.
Because I couldn't have children, I have earned a bachelor's degree in accounting; have had the opportunity to work full-time for an apostle, celebrity, and community housing agency; and have been exposed to so many types of people, ideas, and value systems to make my head spin. Heavenly Father's plan for my life has led me to have been close friends with millionaires, democrats, homosexuals, alcoholics, and tree-huggers. His plan has included 4 time zones, IVF, foster care, and acceptance of mother of a only child. Meanwhile I have served as Relief Society President, Primary President, Gospel Doctrine teacher, and a variety of other teaching and leadership positions. I've worked amongst the priesthood leaders and administration of the Church. I've witnessed miracles happen and prayers answered - and I've been the recipient of gender discrimination several times. All of these life experiences have changed who I am, how I think, and what is important to me. It has changed the filter with which I view the world and eternities. I have told Darik, "It's not my fault I'm a different girl than you married. Blame Heavenly Father, he did this to me and made me who I am today!"
So I'm different. And this different brain with different life experiences has led me to study prophets' words and church history that has given me different answers than what I learned growing up. The organization of the Church taught me a lot of things over my whole life. Most things were accurate and doctrine, and some things were opinion, cultural traditions, and good intentions gone horribly awry. Through my study my faith has been strengthened. I've learned that faith must be about the content of divine revelation, not the means or humans by which it is revealed. I do not believe in prophetic infallibility, that prophets can't make mistakes. We are taught prophets will never lead the church astray from salvation (has never happened yet) - and that's quite different than never making a mistake or mixing up their own opinions in teachings sometimes. Joseph Smith himself insisted he was subject to human error and should not be held to a higher standard than he holds himself. There are a lot of questionable things in our Church history, unexplained things. Because my testimony is rooted in the content of divine revelation, and not it's method it doesn't matter even if some of them are true!
Do I believe Joseph Smith had a vision for the women's Relief Society that has become unrealized? Most likely.. Do I believe the prophets and apostles have taught that God the Father has an equal in God the Mother who is His co-creator? Yes! ("A Mother There": A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven; David L. Paulsen & Martin Pulido. BYU Studies Journal 50:1)
Do I believe there are changes that can and should be made in our church's programs to equalize the funding and structure of programs between males and females? Yes! As Primary President I realized over $100 in ward budget was spent per cub scout per year (registration during rechartering for boys and leaders, badges and awards, fees for boys and leaders, and supplies for activities [which is meager compared to the $$ flowing straight to BSA]) while my ward budgeted less than $5 per girl of the same age per year. If I wanted to have Ellie have a similarly enriching experience as the boys through Girl Scouts, it would cost $300+ in registration and fees and countless hours of volunteer parental service, (which is provided by our church structure for the boys).
Do I believe we need to change the conversation of shame and fear that surrounds our teaching of modesty and sexuality and causes more problems than it solves? Yes!
Do I believe there are some positions in the church that don't require the priesthood that can be done by women and have been done by women in the past (Sunday School Presidency, anyone?)? Yes!
Do I believe there should be more female representation in decision making boards and councils of the Church that are over mixed-gender organizations (Welfare, Church Board of Education, etc.)? Yes! The Church has already started making this change with the new organization of "Mission Leadership Councils" that have sisters equally represented.
Do I believe women should be ordained to the priesthood? Eh.... Now? No. In the future? Perhaps. After studying all the divine powers Heavenly Mother has and uses, all the words I hear in the temple and women I see administer, I believe it's a possibility that women are ordained and use the priesthood in the hereafter. Knowing what I know of my fellow saints and Church leaders - if this is to be a change of new revelation (Article of Faith 9, "we believe that he will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the kingdom of God.") do I believe that now is when it will happen? No.
Do I believe women who advocate for the priesthood now should be protesting and trying to gain admittance to Priesthood General Meeting? No. Why? One word: Contention. It produces a spirit of contention that I have seen generate death threats and scorn and everything that is opposite of love. IF this change is to happen - I personally believe it will not happen now.
Dear fellow Mormon Feminists,
I believe your protest hurts my chances of advocating and realizing change in all my other areas I'm concerned about. It pains me when I feel your actions hurt what should be the goals of us all. Don't things come line upon line and precept upon precept? If the answer to women's ordination is no (for now or even in the future), can we all just take a step back? Can we work on an outpouring of love for each other that breaks down barriers instead of builds them up? That makes the Body of Christ one?
Has God revealed everything there is to be revealed? About the Kingdom of God? About the Plan of Salvation? As I spend some time over at the Mormons and Gays website I get the feeling that, no, there is so much to this life that is a mystery. Even in the Plan of Salvation. And come October 5 I'll kiss my husband on the cheek, send him to Priesthood meeting with a heart full of love, and snuggle down for a girl's night. Not because I don't believe in your cause (it's a possibility), but because I don't believe in your timing.
Love,
A Mormon Feminist of a Different Stripe
Thursday, May 09, 2013
I need help
Hi my name is Kristine, and I'm a user. A heavy user. Like before I even finish what I have at my house I'm running into town to get more stuff. I can't stop. I'm not sure if I've ever tried to stop; or if I really want to.
But I regularly have over 20 books checked out from the library.
The problem is? I really haven't had time to read all month long. I started working from home last month and have been spending most of my discretionary time scoring papers. So why don't I stop? that's just it. I don't know. I love having the beautiful new books on my shelf - even knowing that I won't have time to read them.
And even worse than my library addiction is my book buying addiction. I don't know how many remember that two years ago for my birthday my present was Darik & my mom watched Ellie so I could work at the Scholastic Warehouse sale?
Well, they did it again. And this time I hauled in 67 books + 20 chore rewards for less than $60
Happy birthday to me. BUT Since I haven't read all of the books from two years ago I'm a little concerned about when I'll find time for these. Our schedule is already filling up for the summer - and I think I may just have to wait until Ellie starts school in August to crank these out. I'm hoping? (crosses fingers)
But I regularly have over 20 books checked out from the library.
The problem is? I really haven't had time to read all month long. I started working from home last month and have been spending most of my discretionary time scoring papers. So why don't I stop? that's just it. I don't know. I love having the beautiful new books on my shelf - even knowing that I won't have time to read them.
And even worse than my library addiction is my book buying addiction. I don't know how many remember that two years ago for my birthday my present was Darik & my mom watched Ellie so I could work at the Scholastic Warehouse sale?
Happy birthday to me. BUT Since I haven't read all of the books from two years ago I'm a little concerned about when I'll find time for these. Our schedule is already filling up for the summer - and I think I may just have to wait until Ellie starts school in August to crank these out. I'm hoping? (crosses fingers)
Friday, May 03, 2013
whole foods
Also I had to throw in a shot of our fridge: 5 of 6 shelves filled with produce.
I truly don't care if I lose weight or how my body looks - In fact I think talking about those things is unhealthy body image. I won't let Ellie say the word skinny or talk about losing weight, we can only talk about how food and exercise makes us healthy and strong. I have a true passion for holistic health. I healthy self-image comes from doing hard things and accomplishing your goals. We have to feed our minds and bodies. So in my next post on health: we'll talk books :-)
Thursday, May 02, 2013
April Update
I'm using all my time up - I'm not reading as many books. The first three months I read about 40 books. I'm now scoring standardized tests again - a few weeks scoring virginia essays. now I'm doing texas and next month I have arizona job lines up. Since I get paid per paper I try to put as much time as possible in there. Doing my best to save up for a Vitamix and Omega Juicer - but life keeps happening (ahem $350 car towing bill). I'm trying to balance that with home and family responsibilities AND knitting Ellie's baptism afghan, for which the deadline is rapidly approaching. Um, these darn blankets take a LONG TIME TO FINISH!! I'm looking forward to after the baptism when I won't have any projects with deadlines (knock on wood).
Darik's having fun with his new job. he's set up holiday based eating competitions and started an office softball team. he loves the people/students he works with and loves being compensated fairly (me too).
Ellie is finally starting to see the wisdom of getting homework and chores done quickly (knock on wood). she has decided to try to get better at math on her own, no matter what I did it didn't motivate her. she had to decide for herself. so school is coming along. she has two little best friends on our block. one is older and loud and sassy. the other is quiet and sweet and silly. separately they match different parts of ellie perfectly and she loves them. but when all 3 are together it's quite the juxtaposition. She has also started soccer AND softball. We're a little busy with that, too.
I'm teaching CTR 7 with another sister in the ward and HOLY MOLY are 7 year-olds crazy. This last week I tied bandanas around their heads, had them write on their own brass plates (cardboard wrapped in tin foil), and then I split them up into Team Moroni v. Team Joseph. One team hid the plates outside and the others had to find them. Needless to say we are having fun and I'm tired when we get home. Darik's the webelos leader and they asked me to help him with that as well. so we're keeping busy. As 10 year old boys are just a different kind of busy, last night we fixed bikes and changed a car tire.
ps I turned 32. Will add more about spring break, general conference, las vegas, running, eating vegan, etc. later.
Also. Pictures are coming. Soon.
Friday, March 29, 2013
March Update
For being a stay-at-home mom the bloggage has been lacking. BUT! I haven't just been sitting around moping that I'm in Idaho (ahem). I'd probably say that I've been reading books like they are oxygen and I've been deprived for two years. I have actually read 30 books so far this year (as you can see in my little book montage on the right side of my blog). It's been fun :-) In addition to reading I've added some volunteering: twice a week I volunteer as a speaking partner for a girl in Mexico on the BYU-Idaho Pathways Program, I go into Ellie's class once a week and run a reading group, and also stop by the library and volunteer a few hours a week helping label all the AR books with available tests, reading level, and points. Besides that I clean, do laundry, figure out how I can buy more vegetables, and then read books.
So a quick update of March:
So a quick update of March:
- One of my 30 books I read was a Parenting Handbook that was a good reminder of Love/Logic and got me to refocus - and one day Ellie came home and I told her "Ellie, mommy has been helping you too much lately, so that you think if things get hard you get help instead of figuring out how to do it yourself. From now on mommy's not going to help you. You're going to do your homework and your chores by yourself. AND the cool thing is that mommy's going to start teaching you how to do hard things I usually don't let you do." I've been on the phone with my SIL Kim a lot with questions and support. Love my SIL!!!!!
- On a related note, Ellie has kind of turned a corner at home. We had some issues after starting the chore chart when she accused us of using it to make her do things she didn't want to do. We told her that she had to do the chores whether she got the rewards or not. If she didn't want the rewards she still had to do all the chores. Once that sunk in things have really picked up. We've had almost 24 perfect days in the last month. Not a bad track record.
- Ever since we got here and found out how behind we were on 2nd grade math facts I've tried everything I can throw at the problem to help and get her motivated: daily flash card helping with mom, promise of a trip to the art store for an easel if she passed all her facts test at the end of the year . . . nothing. It's like she knew how bad I wanted her to do it so she would purposefully answer wrong. So I just let it go. It was something she had to decide for herself to do. Somehow decided she wants to pass her math facts and become a 'math master'. She has asked her teacher to even send her home EXTRA MATH HOMEWORK!!?? Her teacher thinks that she's just been watching all the other kids in class trying and passing it off is rubbing off on her. Positive Peer Pressure, I suppose. I'll take it.
- We recently watched the movie, "Harriet the Spy" and reverted back into our old spy mode. One saturday morning I woke up to this: Ellie had gotten lemons out of the fridge, cut off the peels, chopped them in the food processor, and was making invisible ink for her spy notes. So I joined in and even created a code for just us. Later we got out the candles and decoded some of her cute notes. I love my girl.
- Every girl needs a best friend, right? Well we've found a few for little Ellie and we couldn't be happier. We had to literally separate these two to get them home from the cub scout activity. They are the silliest little girls together and I just love them. The other picture is Ellie's crazy hair day during Dr. Seuss week.
- Other than that Darik is now a Webelos leader in Cub Scouts (i'm helping for a few months) and I'm one of Ellie's new Primary School Teachers at church. I thought it wasn't going to work, but so far it has.
- I started working scoring standardized tests at home again. This year I'm working on scoring some Virginia SOL essays for April and in May I'll be doing Arizona essays. Looking forward to some extra money. I want to buy a {{vitamix}}!! After My scoring jobs are done I'll be figuring out how and what to do with the blog.
- Darik started training for a marathon
- Ellie remembered how to ride a bike. And she's getting better!
Monday, February 25, 2013
The Long Awaited Tooth
Have you ever waited really really long for something to happen? Something that all around you for years everyone else got to have happen? Well, Ellie's smile last night rivaled her 'disneyland-smile' as she lost her FIRST tooth. That's right at age almost-eight at the end of second grade. Ellie endured watching others lose their teeth for almost THREE years! She would tell her dentist that 'she just doesn't believe any more that her teeth will fall out'. Well, after months of wiggling it got really loose. And daddy spent all afternoon pulling and yanking the darn thing hoping to be the one to pull it out. It was not happening, so we go to get ready for bed and she said that she knocked it a little looser while brushing her teeth. 
We settle in to read our book before bed (Fablehaven) and I suggest
that she try twisting it like a key instead of pulling and wiggling. Lo
and behold 60 seconds later I hear a gasp of surprise and see a tiny
tooth sitting in her hand. And cue the music, we have the happiest girl
in the world. We were under strict instructions NOT to enter her
bedroom after bedtime so she could verify the tooth fairy was real.
People have said at school that it's parents but she hadn't even had a
chance to try it out and find out for herself yet. So I pinky swore and she woke up to four shiny quarters. Happy girl.
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
What a Chore
Ummm, where has this been all my life? Oh yeah, I've been so busy just trying to survive every day I haven't implemented a visual system like this. And I think Ellie just happens to be a visual kinda gal.
My cousin asked for an explanation of what we are using, so the rest will be pretty detailed. I got the idea from here, and this is how we customized it: Instead of having a line for every child and a column per day - I knew it was easier for Ellie to walk up to the chart and see all twelve red chores she has to do every day and then she decides what order to do them in. When she completes it she turns it around, and at the end of the day before bedtime we count em up and give her a ticket for each one. Each reward ticket is worth 10 minutes of screen time or 10 cents. Up above is one envelope for the ticket bank and one envelope for Ellie's account. If she has a perfect day with all 12 chores complete, she gets a sticker on the hot pink rewards card AND a toy from the treasure box. That's right, I'm bribing my kid. And it works, I tell ya. I made the chart last week and didn't get around to going to get "treasures" from the dollar store til Thursday - and all of a sudden my kid has the ability to have 3 perfect days in a row. No complaining, grumbling, arguing, or contention in the home. On the right hand side are optional weekly chores. We use those for extras and also for replacements when somehow a chore isn't possible to complete (mom washed the dishes without waiting for Ellie). The bottom two rows I put up daily and weekly chores for Darik that are pretty standard he does naturally, but I didn't want Ellie to feel like this is all hers - I wanted it to be all of us. I'm not on the chart because I've put together my own chore schedule (see picture) that is more more detailed.
As a side note, I think I figured out the reason this is working so far. Have any of you read "The 5 Love Languages'? What are all five again? Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, and Quality Time? Well the idea is that each of us as an individual has one or two main ways we give and receive love. The trick is to find out the love languages of those around you and learn to "speak" it so everyone feels loved. Well at library they read a book about a 'sign maker' and Ellie decides to come home and make her own signs. What does she write on all three?
"Get presents for Ellie Anderson"
ugh. I think I have a little gift bug on my hands - so the opposite of me. and explains why I hate little cluttery treasures and Ellie will jump over the moon to get her hands on one. maybe.
As a side note, I think I figured out the reason this is working so far. Have any of you read "The 5 Love Languages'? What are all five again? Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, and Quality Time? Well the idea is that each of us as an individual has one or two main ways we give and receive love. The trick is to find out the love languages of those around you and learn to "speak" it so everyone feels loved. Well at library they read a book about a 'sign maker' and Ellie decides to come home and make her own signs. What does she write on all three?
"Get presents for Ellie Anderson"
ugh. I think I have a little gift bug on my hands - so the opposite of me. and explains why I hate little cluttery treasures and Ellie will jump over the moon to get her hands on one. maybe.
Baby Steps
I recently have watched the status updates of one of my high school friends build a house in Boise, move in, and three days later post that everything is unpacked and all the frames are on the walls.
To which I say . . . What the ?!!
I have to admit, the past three weeks it's felt like I've been running a race while trying to put my shoes on. I'm managing, and I don't have a time deadline, but it has been a little frustrating. And I know, I know, I know -- I was the one that wanted this, to be at home and take care of daughter, husband, home, and self. But It feels like a start up business that takes a bunch of extra work at the start to get up and running how you want it to. So I apologize if I've been MIA on the internets, scrabble games, or voice mails. I've been catching up :-)
And it's not just unpacking, setting up new banking accounts, bill pays, insurances, and closing all the old ones. I want to fundamentally change the routine, schedules, priorities, and etc. I want to be more consistent using essential oils with Ellie and our home every day to help with her attention and focus issues and keep her out of a doctors office and medication. I want to use EOs to make my own cleaning products, mouthwash, shampoo, deodorant, perfumes, etc. I want to change what we eat and the way we eat. I want to change how we do chores and our positive and negative consequences. I want to know where things are in my home - to get rid of things we don't need and simplify. I want to serve others with a weekly temple trip and volunteering at the school and online as a speaking partner for an international BYUI student. And I want to find time to start reading and reviewing and blogging and going back to publish blog books. When I look at it all I'm overwhelmed. But I have to remember -
Baby steps.
To which I say . . . What the ?!!
And it's not just unpacking, setting up new banking accounts, bill pays, insurances, and closing all the old ones. I want to fundamentally change the routine, schedules, priorities, and etc. I want to be more consistent using essential oils with Ellie and our home every day to help with her attention and focus issues and keep her out of a doctors office and medication. I want to use EOs to make my own cleaning products, mouthwash, shampoo, deodorant, perfumes, etc. I want to change what we eat and the way we eat. I want to change how we do chores and our positive and negative consequences. I want to know where things are in my home - to get rid of things we don't need and simplify. I want to serve others with a weekly temple trip and volunteering at the school and online as a speaking partner for an international BYUI student. And I want to find time to start reading and reviewing and blogging and going back to publish blog books. When I look at it all I'm overwhelmed. But I have to remember -
Baby steps.
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
Review: Raw Energy: 124 Raw Food Recipes for Energy Bars, Smoothies, and Other Snacks to Supercharge Your Body
Raw Energy: 124 Raw Food Recipes for Energy Bars, Smoothies, and Other Snacks to Supercharge Your Body by Stephanie Tourles
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I bought this on a whim on amazon last month for $3 as a kindle deal of the month. I'm glad I did.
So here's the deal: the last two years I've started getting really passionate about being healthy. I've always had weird health problems that are all unexplainable to the medical community (chronic fatigue, morning nausea, joint pain, etc. etc.). I thought I might be celiac and tried eating that way and felt better, my test came back negative, though. Two years ago D's cousin who owns a health store in UT put us on a whole body cleanse with a 3 month diet of ONLY vegetables and lean meats. All of a sudden I had energy coming out of my ears, I was happy and all of my other health problems went away.
That lead to essential oils and clean eating and learning about low-GI . . . and then we moved and I got a job working full time and it all went out the window. I did my best to cut out processed foods and slowly increase the amount of vegetables we ate each day. Under the influence of an awesome friend who started eating vegan I started green smoothies. I'm firmly in the camp of people who believe that whole food is much better than even processed health foods - and no amount of ads will convince me it's better for you than what God has made. I was very interested in stop purchasing processed foods and going whole-foodist. I've heard about the raw-foodists and see them at the farmer's markets and I know they have good, healthy food - but this was my first time researching and taking a gander for myself.
This is a really good intro book. She goes over the basics of WHY someone would NOT cook their food and the benefits, as well as simple raw snacks, kitchen equipment, and pantry basics. The rest of the book is split into recipes for: Milks/Shakes/Smoothies, Juices, Energy Bars/Balls/Bites, Trail Mixes, Cereals & Parfaits, Veggie Chips/Dips/Spreads, Cold Soups, and Candy/Cookies. Just to give you and idea of all the ways you can incorporate RAW foods into your diet.
My favorite example of why to eat raw foods is when she was talking about nuts/seeds and she was talking about the importance of buying them RAW not Roasted - and she mentioned how just roasting it does more than just make it crunchier and yummier. If you plant a raw seed it grows, if you plant a roasted nut/seed, it will rot in the ground. Roasting changes its composition and removes the live enzymes.
The other reason I gave the book such a high rating (in addition to the information) is I love the author's attitude. She eats about 75% vegan including about 60% raw foods. The rest she uses local farm products. I've found that foodies and people who self-identify as an -ist tend to be a particularly passionate bunch - about what they and everyone else should be eating. The author includes some un-raw ingredients (natural peanut butter for one, with appropriate raw substitutes) in her recipes with the given that, come on, as a mom you have kids and a husband who need to be coaxed along the path at times to make the journey with you. She's very much a 'find a balance of what you want to eat and what works for you and go with it'.
Because it can be overwhelming trying to change how your family eats. And this gave me reassurance that I can go baby steps and that I don't have to be an -ist to enjoy RAW foods and start to be more healthy.
ps - looking forward to saving up for the baby steps of a processor, juicer, dehydrator, and vitamix. I think I'm going to have fun having the time as a SAHM to try this stuff out.
pps - get the paperback, this is one cookbook I'll want to have out quite a bit. kindle makes it a bit more difficult.
ppps - remember, just a little healthier today than you were the day before :-)
View all my reviews
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
It's the Most Wonderful Time . . . Of the Year
YAY!
Is it Christmas?
NO!
SuperBowl?
NO!
Birthday?
NO!
It was the ALA's Youth Media Awards Day. Each year at midwinter conference they announce who wins all the YMAs from Caldecott-Newbery-Printz+. It is the day I look forward to like a kid at Christmas. It's Oscars for KidsLit Book Geeks. It's is squee inducing. I'm in a Mock Newbery group on GoodReads that picks books throughout the year and then votes who we think should win. I also follow a few blogs of librarians who have been on the Newbery Committee before and we discuss the same things. I don't know if I've let my kidslit freak flag fly before -- but yeah, I want to be a chidren's librarian . . . and I have a spectacular dream of one day serving on a Newbery Committee. That may never happen, but I sure intend to figure out a way to run a local Mock Newbery group either at the local library or at Ellie's school when she's old enough.
Meanwhile:
SQUEE!
p.s. Not so happy that local library is sadly lacking in distinguished titles. I just need to get rich so I can buy them all myself, but then I only by paperbacks so that would mess with my bookshelves. GRRRR.
p.p.s. Anyone interested in participating in the March Madness of KidsLit with me? Let me know - go see www.battleofthebooks.slj.com
A New Beginning
So we arrived on Jan 15 and I wandered around my new-old home adjusting to the fact that this is my home. Our house is old and cozy. Ellie was so excited and thinks it looks like a little cottage and she even has secret hiding spots (built ins). I have been slower to warm up, but the place is growing on me. I was super-overwhelmed by all of the boxes and the shock of being here. So overwhelmed.
It didn't help that the next morning power went out in town around 5 am and it was -15*F. So flippin' cold. We had Ellie crawl in bed to try to conserve heat. Welcome to Rexburg! School was canceled that day, so Ellie's first day at school was Tuesday. I was apprehensive based on how rough a transition we had in Virginia. So I walked her that morning, went to the office and got a tour of the school from Mr. Busby. He delivered us to Mrs. Ott's 2nd Grade class. I went to pick her up after school (2 blocks away) and I was the only parent there. All kids pretty much walk themselves. (Time for mom to be BRAVE and let her kid do hard things.)
{sigh} She was NOT happy AT ALL. She said it was the worst first day of her life because some girls followed her around ALL DAY LONG and wouldn't leave her alone and so she told them they were 'not her bodyguards'. She said kids wanted her to tell them about herself but she just wants them to watch her to know what she likes. And that she told a girl she had a big stomach. AND my little stinker had the gall to come home and say it was her worst first day ever. Because too many people were too friendly. I can't win. We had some nice talks yesterday........ Now I feel bad for the other kids for subjecting them to my little stinker. She talked to the teacher and she's been moved around a few times to find a place that works for her. The teacher thinks she is doing fine -- she is behind here and has forgotten some things she already had down in Virginia, which is frustrating but to be expected. I met with the teacher yesterday and I'll be volunteering in the library and during reading time in the classes each week. Sounds like fun.
Only this week have I finally come to the point where it feels like everything is in its place. Once that happened we started a chore chart {"Mom, chore charts are the funnest things ever!! Can I do one until I'm 19??" says Ellie. "YES" says mom}. And now we have routines and schedules.
Next stop: whole-foods, clean-eating meal scheduling :-)
PS this stay at home mom thing may sound like unicorns and rainbows but cleaning a whole house every week and cooking all the time is hard to get excited for. And now I'm home people call and talk a long time and when the landlord drops by we visit for 2 hours, etc. I'm trying to lower a little of my expectations of what I can get done between 8 and 245 each day.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
One Chapter Ends, Another Begins
Well - here we are. Darik just turned in his two weeks' notice and I'm trying to figure out a way to move Ellie back there before their school starts and not miss Christmas. So. This is nothing what MY plan, path, or timetable included. I have a testimony that someone else is in charge, and He leads you on your way in life regardless of what you may want.
Good news: Darik is going to love his new job
Better news: I'll live closest to a temple I've ever been.
Great news: I get the opportunity to stay-at-home again.
Best news: This blog, most certainly, will be resurrected.
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
2nd Grade
Ellie starts school next Tuesday. A second grader - she's a bit nervous. We went school supply shopping on Saturday and she almost started hyperventilating. She came into Virginia a bit behind coming from Idaho - and so she's nervous that the teachers will expect her to know things she doesn't know. Or she won't know the kids in her class, or her teacher won't be nice, nice, nice! She's just a little worry bug.
It would likely be fine, but momma's going to training in Cincinnati for NHMS certification for NeighborWorks. All week long. Mom's going to Skype in the mornings and night with little one so I can be there for her big days. Daddy's got parent duty all week long. I know I like to think that she *needs* me to get through that week, but I think daddy is actually better at anxiety and calming her down. So it may be a good thing to get school started on the right foot.
It would likely be fine, but momma's going to training in Cincinnati for NHMS certification for NeighborWorks. All week long. Mom's going to Skype in the mornings and night with little one so I can be there for her big days. Daddy's got parent duty all week long. I know I like to think that she *needs* me to get through that week, but I think daddy is actually better at anxiety and calming her down. So it may be a good thing to get school started on the right foot.
A Good Mom Moment
Motherhood is filled with a lot of mistakes - a lot of bad mom moments, so when there is actually a moment that is proof positive that something I do is working, I had to write it down to remember.
Ellie is easily discouraged - she wants to immediately be perfect at everything. And when she's not she's very emotional and she gives up easily. It all came to a head last summer learning how to ride a bike. We realized that she wasn't understanding that she just needs to keep trying. So guess who's been a broken record for the past 12 months? Me.
Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying
That's pretty much what it felt like.
So on Saturday we hopped in the car to go see her Big Sister, and Ellie is in the back seat doing her hair. She says, "Mom, I know how to put buns in my hair. I learned ponytails with Rachel and Rebecca and then I decided to do a bun. Remember how you tell me to just keep trying? Well that's what I did and I know how to make a bun."
Good.
Mom.
Moment.
Ellie is easily discouraged - she wants to immediately be perfect at everything. And when she's not she's very emotional and she gives up easily. It all came to a head last summer learning how to ride a bike. We realized that she wasn't understanding that she just needs to keep trying. So guess who's been a broken record for the past 12 months? Me.
Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying Just Keep Trying
That's pretty much what it felt like.
So on Saturday we hopped in the car to go see her Big Sister, and Ellie is in the back seat doing her hair. She says, "Mom, I know how to put buns in my hair. I learned ponytails with Rachel and Rebecca and then I decided to do a bun. Remember how you tell me to just keep trying? Well that's what I did and I know how to make a bun."
Good.
Mom.
Moment.
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